Brazil is known for their soccer (Renaldo), attractive supermodel (Gisele), but lets not forget their Brazilian bbq.

On a breezy Saturday night, my fantasy came true. With my buckle lose, I was served endless cuts of meat. Samba through the wide panel front doors, the senses are heightened. Floral shaped lamps and live jazz on a grand piano will do just that.

The open space and high ceiling, coveys cozy. But just when I started getting comfortable, details such as self branded knives and minimalistic style interior add a hint of sophistication, just enough to keep my curiosity.

Playing center stage is meat, but the way it is delivered, executed, and presented makes this meal worth talking about. At table side, you’re in control.

A handy contraption directs the inventory of meat. Green means “take me to gluttony, Father forgive me for I have sinned” while red means, “I’ll be back.”

Being creative, I found this to have other playful uses. After a fight with my lady, green would me “lets kiss and makeup” while red means “I am not ready to talk, but keep the food coming.”

Staying on point,..

Just like a well played soccer game, each meat has its own role. With a handful served table side, the parade just got started. Servers dressed in charming black outfits (Zorro without the mask) arrive at the edge of the table, introducing each selection. “This is filet mignon!”

Just like the samba, each meat dances to a different note. Some are meant to be served well done while other cuts, medium rare would be on point. Some, more savory than others. The Parmesan cheese pork loin features nutty notes from heated cheese. The chicken breast wrapped in bacon is all about contrast. Moist meat made savory with savory bacon.

For a taste of adventure, chicken hearts amplify the same texture as the home-made pork sausage.

Starting the surf and turf parade, the grilled shrimp is aromatic from the roasted flavors from sea-sweet meat.

Before entering beef colony, a slice of grilled pineapple refreshes the palate with a tart kicker.

Disregarding apparent signs of my already perturbing sake belly, I had to be the brave warrior. Tender all around, the filet mignon started whet my palate. Starting to fade into food coma, the next few selections continued my fantasy.

A small piece of sirloin steak, top sirloin, flank steak. “Keep it coming,” I uttered. It appeared I was in butcher class at Brazil’s culinary school. My stomach hinted that I turn the sign to red, but my mind reminded me that I was the hunter, the gatherer of meat, so I continued.

Arriving on a rustic cart, the big boned short ribs reminded me of my Saturday cartoon day watching the Flintstones.

It was somewhat barbaric looking and enticing. One bite, I yelled “GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!” Just like the soccer announcer on the Spanish channel. I have found my cut after an array of tasting. The beef rib features tender blushing pink beef, complimented by a thin layer of fat acting as a nudge of sweet support.

I had arrived. “Don’t touch me, don’t talk to me, just let me enjoy meat ecstasy.”

At the moment, everything stopped, just for a second. Finding the right cut of meat is the closest thing I would do connecting with meat.

All the while, the beef floats had passed. Just when I just thought the dancing would halt, a full army of dishes awaited me.

As seen on Anthony Bourdain’s Brazil episode, the national dish fejoada (stew of beans with pork and beef beans) opened comfort food heaven. A few scopes on top of pillowy rice was a meal in itself.

Vibrant paella, nutty aged cheese, savory smoked salon, crunchy heart of palms, I just didn’t know where to start and when to stop.

While the sushi platter deserved a golf-like mini clap for the strong attempt, it simply missed the mark.

Rounding out the feast, dessert was eye catching as any Brazilian super model. Refreshing the palate, the vibrant duel tone tart mango raspberry sorbet did the trick. The petite gateau is all about temperature contrast. Vanilla ice cream cools the palate while warm Belgium chocolate “hugs” the soul.

End the meal with the national drink caipirinha, giving the palate a refreshing lime taste.

note: for dinner, the price is around $70 including tax and tip, but well worth the great experience.

Cleo’s Brazilian Steakhouse
451 El Camino Real
San Bruno, CA 94096
(650) 615-9120
www.cleossteakhouse.com

When I first visited the Cleo’s website, my palate began to salivate from the seductive grilled meets. Like an attractive photo from an online dating site, when I met reality, it was a big deception.

Hopping along the car congested street of El Camino Real, Cleo’s stood alone on its seedy foundation. Expecting an elegant facade, I was surprised by the lack of attention to detail to the exterior. Instead, unflattering food pictures hung on the window side. With the dilapidate building on El Camino, I was anticipating a brief escape to Brazil.

Where was the upbeat music?
Vibrant smiles?

Once I glanced at the exterior, I immediate reached for my belt, let it loose and prepared for my meat orgy. Do keep in mind, my previous Brazilian all you can eat excursion was at the elegant and charming Espetus Churrascaria in San Francisco.

Surely, the old adage of “we get what we pay for” can’t be more true. Each patron can expect to spend around $25 while Espetus is about double in cost. Yet, a few notes from an observant resultant consultant made my visit very memorable, in a nightmare way.

First, the clamoring of plates decreased my dining experience making it hard for casual conversation. One reason is that the restaurateur did not use rugs but opted for tile floors. Rugs are expensive but absorb sound. The restaurant flow was also horrible. As patrons lined up for the salad bar in the back wall, this caused congestion worst than 101 on a Friday afternoon bumping into the meat servers dashing to the meat grill. For those who have dined at Espetus, the restaurant flow is harmonious as patrons can revolve around the salad bar.

The salad bar was sub par. (no rhyme intended) Fruits lacked crunch since it was very obvious it came from the can. The beans and rice lacked aroma. With sauces often food spilling over the steam pans, lack of detail was clearly noted.

As for the grilled meats, there were a few honorable mentions along with sure misfires.
Stealing the show, the bacon wrapped chicken displayed the contrast of tender meat amplified with savory notes from the bacon. As the most expensive meat, I was disappointed to only taste one round of the herb marinated lamb during the course. Skip the trip tip with garlic, which is over cooked with grainy texture.

A prized meat is the top sirloin. With slight hints of fat for flavor, the meat is tender but make sure to ask for medium rare for the perfect blushing pink color. For thrill seekers, the chicken hearts are crunchy but leave the palate with a gamey after taste. With a slight snap from the casing, one bite into the pork sausage leeks the aromatic flavors to the palate.

Greeted with fried bananas, the fruit pieces sweeten the palate helping to sustain the appetite in the meat adventure.

Dressed in white shirts and black pants, the meat servers were polite and attentive.

Restaurant Consultant.
In this economy, restaurant owners must put attention to detail in order to generate a positive word of mouth advertising. I would rather skip this $25 meal and save up for one great memorable dining experience at Espetus. In a hectic world, patrons who spend over $15 are looking for a restaurant that delivers

(service) + (ambiance) + (great food)

3 Ways to Improve Dining Experience
1) When serving fruits at the salad bar, add some garnishes such as mint leaves. This enhances the presentation of the canned food.
2) Have the servers make an introduction.
“Welcome to Cleo’s. My name is Pablo. You will be enjoying a few cuts of fine meats today. If you need any meats on request, allow me to serve you.”
May your customer feel like a King.
3) Play some Brazilian music and this simply enhances the environment.

Remember.
Guys go to Hooters not for the food, but for the EXPERIENCE.